Adoration

“…and I will ADORE you.”

I have recently begun my prayer time with the lyrics to this song in adoration to the Lord.

I find myself repeating this chorus. It’s how I am working to get in the mindset of my word for the year.

Adoration.

For me, this is a deliberate and conscious effort.  I have a history and a tendency and even a hurry to go straight into my begging and pleading, throw in some lamenting.  But, rarely ADORING.  I have been known to reduce God to a casual greeting.

In recognition of me not being great at spending much time in adoring Him, I tried to intentionally fit its rightful place in my time of prayer.  Because, its appearance was so rare, my introduction of it felt clumsy.

Adore?

What does that even mean?

I know it, intellectually.  “Utmost esteem.”   That’s the greatest and highest amount.  None greater.  That means my highest love.  Of course, I love God.  But, is it my utmost? Of course, I respect and admire God.  But, can none go higher?  I can’t help but put it up against those in my life who experience my full-fledged adoration.  When I compare that with my innermost feelings, I begin to question where I have God, actually.

So, I’d find myself stopping first and mustering up this emotion before proceeding in prayer.  How can I be so breezy?  I know adoration is important to Him, because it’s important for me.  A bold prayer from King David to the Lord was, “point out anything that offends you.”  So, I know He can be offended.

Don’t misunderstand.  I’m amazed He charts my path and both precedes and follows me.  A hand of blessing is on my head. Yet, the issue I discovered for myself is I don’t always bubble up with the same intensity of spirit in devoted love for him the Creator, as I recognized that I do in ease with those He created for me.  My heart can physically ache and devotion deeply roused for those God gave me and formed in His image. So, similar to that, how can this same spirit of mine intensify in like manner to His formless Presence.

It’s hard for me to admit that I can easily feel the desire of those around me more genuinely and real than the One I’ve never seen.  Why can cherishing, loving dearly, holding in admiration be more natural with those He made for me instead of, “the Spiritual Almighty” who made them.

I stop myself from trying to reduce Him to an imaginable and tangible God within my limited thoughts and ways.  His nature, so divine, sacred, and holy.  Mine is not.  I’m just a dot.  I am small.  Hardly perceptible.  Scarcely detectable.  Yet, somehow, praise God …recognizable.

But, this too is by design.

I cry out in real emotions to His spiritual presence that I try and “will this” to be.

I call on the Holy Spirit to help me.

I just can’t love ones on earth greater than the love of He.

Even if He’s not physical,

I can adore His invisible, yet present Holy Trinity.

I grapple and think it’s like saying I love air.  But, then the wind blows and I’m touched.  I’m refreshed.  I breathe it in.  It expands my lungs and sustains my very life giving me every waking moment by moment.  Breath by breath.  He is in the air and I’m blown away.  “Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to know.”

His Spirit is a presence.   It’s occurring at this time!  At this very moment!

This is a gift coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights.  “Every good and perfect gift is.”

He comforts in a heavenly holy lap.  He envelopes in an ethereal embrace.  He cushions in His celestial care.  I bear down on my thoughts to increase the volume. I imitate David in Psalm 139 and Solomon in Kings. Not wanting to sound disingenuous like royalty but not irreverent with my words so contemporary.  I position myself on two knees literally.  I symbolically bow to Thee.  Isn’t this what it must take to accept one as unworthy and complicated as me?

I repeat back to God His attributes.

I visually lay them down at the foot of His cross and remember “He Who’s Overall” using the technique of pointillism to produce a degree of luminosity.

Small dot by small dot I replicate a cross over every people, tribe, language and nation.

It’s to Him I pray with all creation.

He will work forever on my sanctification.

For me, right now,

this is my adoration.

Psalm 139    

James 1:17

Revelation 7:9